I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
