i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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