I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
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No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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