I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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