i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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