I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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