My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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