Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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