apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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