i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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