cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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