i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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