sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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