Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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