I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize