it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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