some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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