Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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