so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
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just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
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Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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