you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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