I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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