how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize