you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize