Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize