and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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