my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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