Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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