I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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