Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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