Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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