Will you blow on my dice?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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