Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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