are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize