We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The air taste purple.
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