Don't make out with my wife yet
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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