his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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