Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

let's bang

(773): View more from Illinois

You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.

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(216): let's bang (773): You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no. http://tfl.nu/cr4i

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.

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(843): I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out. http://tfl.nu/k8va

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(816): View more from Missouri

So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeeah thank god

(816): View more from Missouri

Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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(816): So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant... (1-816): Yeeah thank god (816): Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million. http://tfl.nu/pevw

Replies (54) Good night (1949) Bad night (15313)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.

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(303): I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it. http://tfl.nu/jr23

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(907): View more from Alaska

I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.

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(907): I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex. http://tfl.nu/ckwf

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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(201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek

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(806): View more from Texas

Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.

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(806): Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again. http://tfl.nu/oiv0

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.

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(508): Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering. http://tfl.nu/eppe

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(562): View more from California

We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable

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(562): We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable http://tfl.nu/eg4m

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?

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(506): HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!? http://tfl.nu/h0ub

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(907): View more from Alaska

Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.

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(907): Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7bx7

Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (315)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving

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(620): Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/x9wv

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.

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(732): Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age. http://tfl.nu/drps

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.

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(+44): I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership. http://tfl.nu/vlyz

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(469): View more from Texas

I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.

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(469): I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way. http://tfl.nu/iucx

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