I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I skipped work to stalk him.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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