don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize