Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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