they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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