Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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