my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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