so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize