with your own penis?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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