butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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