my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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