i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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