I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize