That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
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LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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