Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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